Saturday, April 3, 2010

Mom in the Candle Light

My mother passed away more than 10 years ago. This short essay is written in memory of her on the occasion of memorial day in lunar calendar.

When I was very young, ~ 7 years old, my father passed away. My mother was a widow ever since raising her three young children by herself. When I was in high school, the song "Mom in the candle light" was very popular, especially so in my home. Every time we listened to the song on radio, mom teared up. I did not quite understand what caused such a strong emotional reaction then, I do now as I am about her age then. I tear up every time I listen to the song now because of its tune, lyrics and its connection to mom.

I knew I was her favorite child, but I was the one who moved away from her. I went to college thousands miles away from home, I went even further for graduate school, then I crossed the pacific ocean for my PhD. She wanted me to be close to home, but she always, always encouraged me to pursue my dream.

When I was in college, I had an American English teacher, a young man from Utah. He played the song "country roads" in the English class, that was the first time I heard this song. I loved the song instantly because it helped me to express my homesickness, my longing to hometown while marching on in my own life journey, the melancholy and the slight sadness for being so far away from mom. There are many many great songs expressing homesickness, this one ranks at the very top.

Even though "Mom in the candle light" and "Country road" are my most favorable songs, I did not remember the full lyrics of either songs. I searched Internet and found both songs and their audio recordings today. Reading the lyrics, listening to the songs, tears streamed down my face - all the memories, all the emotions came back just like the days mom was still with me.

Her expectations and pride for me, her kindness and encouragements, and her unconditional love are alive with me.

Mom in the Candle Light 烛光里的妈妈

烛光里的妈妈
妈妈我想对您说,
话到嘴边又咽下,
妈妈我想对您笑,
眼里却点点泪花。
噢妈妈,烛光里的妈妈,
您的黑发泛起了霜花,
噢妈妈,烛光里的妈妈,
您的脸颊印着这多牵挂。
噢妈妈,烛光里的妈妈,
您的腰身倦得不再挺拔,
噢妈妈,烛光里的妈妈,
您的眼睛为何失去了光华,
妈妈呀,女儿已长大,
不愿意牵着您的衣襟走过春秋冬夏。
噢妈妈,烛光里的妈妈,
您的腰身倦得不再挺拔,
噢妈妈,烛光里的妈妈,
您的眼睛为何失去了光华,
妈妈呀,女儿已长大,
不愿意牵着您的衣襟走过春秋冬夏。
噢妈妈相信我,
女儿自有女儿的报答。
噢妈妈相信我,
女儿自有女儿的报答。


Note: this Chinese song describes a grown up daughter's emotional reaction to her observations of her mom's grey hairs, hunched back, and aged eyes, and her love to her mom.


Take me home, country road


Songwriters: Danoff, Bill;Nivert, Taffy;Denver, John;Deutschendorf, John

Almost Heaven, West Virgina
Blue Ridge mountains
Shenandoah River -
Life is old here
Older than the trees
Younger than the mountains
Growin' like a breeze

Country Roads, take me home
to the place I belong
West Virgina, mountain momma
Take me home country roads

All the memories gathered round her
Miner's lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice
In the mountain hours she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin' down the road I get a feelin'
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
Take me home, country roads
Take me home, country roads

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