I always feel sad when I heard about a friend's marriage trouble, or an acquaintance's divorce, especially those who had been married for long time.
I know that maintaining a lasting happy marriage is not easy.
During the journey of life, things change: from honey moon to sleepless nights taking care of babies, from worrying about diapers to worrying about grades, and more importantly the couple themselves change - from physical change to mental change, ...... a couple has to adapt to the changes, to meet the challenges at different stage of life. The focus of the adaption should be focused on having a best possible relation between husband and wife. When their relation is strong, the marriage is strong, the family is strong.
During the journey of life, conflicts keep coming: from competing demands of family and work to competing aspirations in career advancements of husband and wife; from difference in handling family finance to difference in disciplining children, ...... resolving the conflicts is about making choices. The choices made should be those that are best for the marriage and the family. To me, marriage = family
Maintaining a long lasting happy marriage requires that a couple put family as the center of their life. What is the meaning of success if one has no one else to share the joy? How miserable a life would be if one has no one else to help carry the pains in life?
I also know that maintaining a lasting happy marriage is not too hard if the satisfaction one draws from a marital relation is from within.
If a couple is married for love, if a couple draws satisfaction from their relation for themselves, not for their parents, not for show off ... adapt for changes in life, compromise when conflicts arise; learn from hard times, remember good times...they will be in love til the end.
Happily married does not mean that a couple don't have ups and downs. It means being together, sharing one life. As they share their burdens, the burdens are halved, as they share their pain, the pain is reduced; as they share their joys, the joys are doubled, as they share their happiness, the happiness is amplified.
1. These are some thoughts I had on the occasion of our wedding anniversary
2. I am not against divorce - what is the point of staying in a marriage when the relation is truly broken,when all they feel is misery.